Goal Setting | 03 Feb 2020

Shocker Alert: I’m not confident, anxiety & stress free


I’m NOT confident, stress-free and anxiety-free every day.


Wow, what a shocker. A Hypnotherapist and Psychotherapist who isn’t always confident, stress and anxiety free.

Why do you think that is?

I know why ☺️

Because thinking that you will always be confident, stress and anxiety free is an unrealistic goal.

Just like happiness and sadness come and go, so do other feelings like anxiety, excitement – which happen to be induced by the same chemicals it’s your perception that, decides which you want to feel – fear, pride, love. All these feelings come and go. They are what helps us to know that we are alive and living.

If you want help with your confidence, anxiety or stress levels. I can help. You can get in touch here, but what I would never promise to you is that I can erradicate those feelings completely, because we need those feelings for our survival.

My recent anxiety

My dad became poorly a few months ago which meant we had to stop swimming together.

Despite me loving swimming, and having signed up to a 12 month membership, I stopped swimming too.


Well, I’d got used to going with someone else and didn’t feel as confident going on my own.

I kept putting barriers up with reasons why I couldn’t do it.

It’s too cold.

It’s too dark.

I don’t want to get up at 5:30am.

It takes too long to get ready.

I don’t like my cozzy.

Yet I knew I love swimming.

What changed?

The push came when I had my asthma review and my asthma was shocking. I know how good swimming is for my asthma.

So what did I do?

Well, I began to therapise myself.

I recognised that I’d kept looking out for problems instead of breaking down the barriers and looking for solutions.

I'm not confident all of the time

Breaking down the barriers

First, I identified my perceived barriers.

1) Confidence – how was I going to increase my confidence? A new swimming costume I’d feel more comfortable in would help. Alongside visualising how great I’d feel once I’d completed my swimming.

2) Time – how was I going to create more time without it impacting on my precious sleep time? And how was I going to feel motivated to go in the dark and cold wintery months?

What else?

Shaving all my hair off came to mind. 💇 But knowing I would not do that voluntarily, I looked at alternatives and came up with an idea that would save me a whole hour on swim days.

Get my mum to French plait my hair and aim to keep it in for a week.

What a fabulous idea, until lastnight when I had the most horrendous nights sleep because my hair was so uncomfortable to lie on 😂🙈

So, this morning I woke thinking, I can’t go swimming I need extra sleep time 😳😮


Rochdale leisure centre

What did I do?

I had an extra sleep time, felt much better about it, I also had a client cancellation so I kept my promise to myself and….

I did it!

So, now I’m celebrating. 😁 When we achieve a goal, especially one we have found difficult it is so important to acknowledge and celebrate your achievements.

It really helps to reinforce it as a safe and acceptable behaviour for you to do again. 🥰

So here I am, straight out the pool with a huge grin on my face, celebrating my win. I feel so proud.

Now confident and feeling proud

Morale of the story: Look for solutions instead of focusing on the problems AND we’re not superhuman, your therapist gets anxious too 💖

Have a beautiful day 💞

Want to learn more about breaking down the brriers? Visit my free facebook group for my video.