So many people ask me about New Year’s Resolutions and assume that because of my job I’m all for them. Of course, I’m always up for supporting someone to achieve their goals. But, there’s a big difference between achieving your goals and setting unrealistic New Year’s Resolutions.
My role in my clinic room is to support my clients to identify achievable goals, every day of the year, even any day of the year. So that this way they can then work towards making those dreams a reality. However, part of my role is also to help my clients to recognise when they are setting themselves up for failure.
If you set yourself up for failure, what will happen? You’ll beat yourself up. Tell yourself you’re not good enough. You may even quit another ten activities that were helping you because you decide you can’t do anything right any more. It’s a downwards spiral and its not a nice one at that.
Of course, sometimes we set ourselves a goal we thought was achievable and then we don’t quite get there, but when this happens it can be really helpful to reflect back on what stopped us and what we might be able to do if we continued to aim to make it happen now. Don’t give up if it’s right within your grasp.
New Year’s Resolutions can leave us setting up goals that are not helpful. They can leave us feeling disempowered and really feeling low. So, if you have set yourself some goals for the year. I’d like you to take some time to identify any that are out of your reach for the date you had in mind. Now, can you consider what you could do to make that goal more achievable? If you were to break it down, maybe you might decide that the first part is definitely achievable within the time frame you gave yourself, and the second part a possibility if you apply some real pressure to yourself, but the third and fourth parts are definitely not. If that’s the case, look at changing your goal to make it so that it is achievable for you.
Achievable Goals are essential. They give us a feeling of accomplishment, achievement and reward which is wonderful. So, if you’d like to set yourself a goal or goals this year, why not set them now? You don’t need the month of January to help you out and you may just find that everything’s a little more achievable because you’ve broken it down. And what’s more, you get to have a celebration every time you reach your mini milestones now too!
If you’d like to set an achievable goal consider why you want to set it. What does it mean to you? Do you want it, do you need it? Or are you trying it out because you think its something you should be doing?
In which case it’s a sure-fire way for you to fail due to lack of motivation.
Something you think you should do, compared with something you’d really like to do are two very different things. Please, have a think now and consider which one your goal is and then decide as to whether you want to discard it for now and do something else?
January Blues are real. They’re a terrible shock to the system for many people. So, why is everyone trying to give themselves unrealistic and unachievable goals to add on top of every other challenge they’ve got going on right now? You’ve just had a build up to the 25th December. You may be coming down from a big festive high or feeling like you’ve missed out and everyone else had a fabulous time. Please, be kind to yourself. Set yourself goals when the time is right for you.
The best time to set yourself a goal is when you’re in a really good place mentally. When you’re mentally feeling positive you can cope so much better with new goals and challenges. Consider when you’re going to be at your best mentally and try setting yourself an achievable goal – that get’s broken down into smaller milestones – then instead.
If you have a particular goal in mind that you’re struggling with I’d be more than happy to discuss it with you all year round in a free 20 minute initial consultation over the phone to see if sessions with me is something you want to explore for extra motivation, support, and skills. You can get in touch with me here.
Sparkling Moments 30 Day of amazing is my new book out VERY soon, just in time for Christmas. If you’re looking for that little treat for yourself or someone you love to help put a little bit of extra amazing into your life, then this is the book for you. It’s light reading, easy to digest, and broken down so that you can easily fit it into your every day routine. Sign up to be notified the day its released for your chance to win a FREE signed copy of the book. You can read a review by Worsley Creative Services here.